SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

Spider-Man Homecoming

The funny thing about Spider-Man in film so far, is despite five films and two very different takes on him, we’ve not actually had a definitive take on the character. Maguire was a good Parker, but not the most comfortable wise cracking Spider-Man, Garfield a more naturally quippy Spidey, but was barely recognisable as Parker. Enter Tom Holland, a young, baby-faced actor with such a natural, infectious likeability he was able to be the best part of a billion dollar film featuring heroes we’d had a dozen films to know and love.

Ill skip right to it, this is the definitive Spider-Man. He is simultaneously a better, more charismatic but still vulnerable Parker, and a less over the top, jokey Spidey, but still full of humour and fun. As much as I love the Raimi films, you never bought that Peter was a kid in school, it always felt to me they were trying to touch on it, and then go past that time in his life, whereas in HOMECOMING its built into the very foundations of the story and the character, and because of that (and again, just how god damn great Holland is) it just works. Its a Spider-Man film! He has to deal with school, with the big dance, being pushed around occasionally, there’s a quiz tournament, a party at the girl he has a crush on’s house, oh and stopping a network of criminals that aren’t high profile enough to trouble Stark and the Avengers. Its just… Spider-Man.

What the film does so well is actually explore this new Peter Parker, and bring in some fresh bits on what being Spidey would be like, we get to see all his troubles, both those at school, but also mastering his powers. He isn’t the all-action hero of the previous films, swinging from skyscrapers with effortless grace, he isn’t taking out half a dozen goons without a scratch, hes clumsy, he makes mistakes, he tries and he tries but sometimes it doesn’t work. Hes a kid. He makes kid decisions, kid mistakes, hes smart, but nowhere near the finished article and when he overreaches there are consequences.

One of my only issues, and it is small because HOMECOMING is a massively enjoyable film and after a few watches will probably settle as my second favourite Spider-Man film, just behind 2004’s SPIDER-MAN 2, but at times it lacks that extra added weight those first two Raimi films had. It feels very light at times, which works in its favour for the high-school parts, and while they do get close with a very good scene in the 3rd act, it never feels as consequential, as heavy as those sequences like Norman Osborne’s funeral or Otto Octavius sacrificing himself. Also, and this is even more minor, one or two of the moments are slightly oversold, not in a terrible way, just that the audience was already there, and didn’t need the extra pointer to get it, the main two culprits being from a great bit of humour in the first act, and a more emotional one in the third where at both points it felt like they were nudging you in the arm a little too much.

By and large though, the film is very good. Micheal Keaton is a fantastic villain, we are actually able to see his point of view, even empathise with him, meaning hes probably the best villain since Loki (although I did love Ego from GOTG: VOL 2). The humour in the film is fantastic, it doesn’t beat you over the head with jokes, but there’s a great mixture of visual humour, witty dialogue and enjoyable character moments. Marisa Tomei is a great Aunt May, Peters group of pals are all very good in their roles, his best friend Ned the standout in terms of comedy moments and screen-time, but Liz and Michelle are both excellent, with room to explore further in a sequel. And for all the bluster about this being an Iron Man film, Tony isn’t actually in the film all that much, and when he is its purposeful, rather than a shoehorned in cameo like some had feared.

Speaking of fear, there was a lot of talk about the high tech suit Peter uses, gifted by Tony, which has more gadgets and gizmo’s squeezed into it than even the first few Iron Man suits, this worried me. The thing I love about Spidey is while being a genius, his suit is relatively low-tech. The web shooters and fluid are sophisticated bits of kit, but besides that its basically a bit of red and blue cloth, so going from that to a suit that has head up display, a JARVIS like A.I interface, trackers, tasers, a hundred different web shooter settings and the like, that was a huge worry for me. But you know what, they actually made it work, both in terms of the world around them (of course Tony massively over-engineers a suit for a 15 year old kid), but more than that because what they do with it was actually a lot of fun, and they use it as a key part of Peters journey. I was so ready to hate it, and they won me over, so big props to them.

I’ll have to give it a few re-watches to place it on my top Spider-Man films, but there’s every chance it comes in just below SM2, and I think for many, this could be their outright favourite. Tom Holland is a superstar who delivers the best version of the character in its history, the film is fun, its smart, it is overflowing with heart and features the best running gag in a comic book film to date. Somehow, they’ve made a 3rd iteration of SPIDER-MAN feel fresh and exciting, which is something of a minor miracle.

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(As always, and it baffles me people still don’t do this, stay till the very, very end. It’s completely worth your time)

100 Films Update: The First 20

One fifth of the way in, heres some quick thoughts on the films I’ve seen so far.

1: BULLIT (1968)

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Dir: Peter Yates                                                                                                    

Featuring probably the greatest car chase in history, Steve McQueen is effortlessly cool in a decent cop thriller, that wobbled a bit here and there towards the end.

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2: BIRDMAN (2014)

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Dir: Alejandro G. Inarritu                                                                                 

Massively pretentious, but one of the most energetic and fascinating films I’ve seen recently. The whole movie felt alive and vibrant with its “one take” style. Some of the monologues sometimes threaten to beat you over the head with their message, especially the one about film criticism, but I found the film so engaging it made me forgive them. Loved every second.

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3: THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985)

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Dir: John Hughes                                                                                                 

Very fun, very 80’s, can see how it became a bit of a cult favourite among those who had it on repeat in their youth.

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4: THE HUNT (2012)

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Dir: Thomas Vinterberg                                                                                    

Incredibly tense with a brilliant performance from Mads Mikkelsen, the finale stayed with me for days after.

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5: LEON: THE PROFESSIONAL (1994)

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Dir: Luc Besson                                                                                                    

Some very entertaining action sequences, directed in an inventive way by Besson. Gary Oldman overacting all over the shop, but that cant dent some great stuff between a young Natalie Portman making her debut, and Jean Reno, although their relationship ends up pushing way further into icky territory than I thought it would.

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6: THE GODFATHER (1972)

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Dir: Francis Ford Coppola                                                                                 

Yeah, a masterpiece in every way.

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7: JACKIE BROWN (1997)

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Dir: Quentin Tarantino                                                                                      

Tarantino’s most overlooked work, partly why it was the only film of his I hadn’t seen. Less energetic than PULP FICTION, but a very sharp, cool film where the characters win by being smarter than each other.

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8: THE LOBSTER (2015)

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Dir: Yorgos Lanthimos                                                                                     

Really weird. I enjoyed the ambition and what the writers and director tried to do with the film, especially with the dialogue, characters interactions being brutally honest etc, but I think it gets stretched a little thin, and began to grate on me slightly over 2 hours of run-time. I’d have liked to have seen that initial world develop a little along with the characters. 

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9: THE GODFATHER: PART II (1974)

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Dir: Francis Ford Coppola                                                                                 

Going to be controversial, I’m not convinced on first viewing that it’s better than THE GODFATHER. It’s still a stunning, incredible piece of cinema, and I cant argue against anyone putting it up among the best ever, but for me its predecessor is a tiny fraction better. Adored the scenes of a young Vito rising to power the most.

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10: ARGO (2012)

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Dir: Ben Affleck                                                                                                   

A brilliantly smart thriller from actor/director Ben Affleck. Incredibly tense when it needed to be, but with some great humour injected into the film to balance it out, especially enjoyed the Hollywood satire segments. Immensely enjoyable.

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11: TAXI DRIVER (1976)

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Dir: Martin Scorsese                                                                                          

Powerful and compelling work from De Niro, the atmosphere and lighting at night is gorgeous. An already incredible film is heightened by a wonderful score from Bernard Herrmann.

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12: ALMOST FAMOUS (2000)

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Dir: Cameron Crowe                                                                                           

Incredibly charming and warm, everyone in the cast shines in a witty and funny coming of age story. One quote about uncoolness delivered by the great Philip Seymour Hoffman instantly became one of my favourite ever.

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13: CREED (2015)

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Dir: Ryan Coogler                                                                                                

I never got round to ROCKY V or ROCKY BALBOA, the ridiculous but enjoyable Russian fight in IV was as much as I needed from a Sly Stallone boxing franchise. Amazingly though, CREED manages to spark so much energy and life into this series. Michael B. Jordan is fantastic as Apollo’s son, and even Stallone brings something new to the character of Rocky, in probably his best performance to date. Little predictable maybe, but it still feels fresh and entertaining.

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14: FARGO (1996)

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Dir: Joel & Ethan Coen                                                                                       

I think seeing both seasons of Noah Hawley’s brilliant TV series lessened the impact of this film for me. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and imagine 20 years ago this would’ve blown the socks off audiences with it’s violent dark comedy. Frances McDormand as the cheery, brilliant detective Marge Gunderson was fantastic, an instant favourite character, “oh boy”.

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15: THERE WILL BE BLOOD (2007)

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Dir: Paul Thomas Anderson                                                                             

One of the most astonishing films I’ve ever seen. A true “epic” in every sense of the word. Opens with a 5-6 minute scene with no dialogue, letting the phenomenal score guide you along, and then somehow manages to only go upwards from there. A captivating performance from Daniel Day Lewis. Easily a future classic.

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16: THE GREY (2011)

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Dir: Joe Carnahan                                                                                                

Liam Neeson fighting wolves. While it was sometimes a bit heavy handed with dealing with notions of life, death and god, it doesn’t take away from it being a genuinely thrilling and different take on a survival story. Apparently some disliked how it wrapped up, but I enjoyed it.

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17: APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

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Dir: Francis Ford Coppola                                                                                 

I initially watched the “Redux” version of the film, by accident, which came with nearly an hour of additional footage and to be honest I didn’t understand why this film was praised so highly. While it had some incredible moments, I found it massively baggy, the slow pace dragging it down to the point where it was almost a slog to watch. After finishing (and realising my mistake of watching the extended version), I wanted to give the theatrical cut a chance, because I was certain there was something I had missed. Boy was there. The theatrical cut of APOCALYPSE NOW is one of, no, the most astonishing, captivating, haunting films I have ever watched. A masterpiece. I think its better than THE GODFATHER. Its the best film I’ve ever seen.

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18: KIMI NO NA WA (YOUR NAME) (2016)

 

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Dir: Makoto Shinkai                                                                                           

I have been trying to get into watching more anime films this year, after seeing brilliant things from Studio Ghibli and the really thought provoking 1995 movie GHOST IN THE SHELL. The body-swapping romance YOUR NAME was the first from my 100 list and I was really blown away by it. The hand drawn animation is some of the best I have ever seen, its absolutely gorgeous, especially in how it handles colour and light, I sometimes had to remind myself it wasnt done in a computer. The film deals a lot with contrast, between boys and girls, traditional Japanese culture and modern Japanese culture both with the characters and the settings, superstition and science. It really resonated with me, even as a relative beginner to anime films. YOUR NAME is a beautiful, moving, charming film that I cant recommend highly enough.

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19: EX MACHINA (2015)

 

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Dir: Alex Garland                                                                                                 

Had zero expectations going in, hadn’t even read a synopsis, and I really enjoyed this slick and thought provoking sci-fi story. Alicia Vikander was terrific as Ava, the way she moved with an almost weightless glide was perfect, and managed to sell the character completely. Looked very slick without being overly flashy, which left more time for focusing on the character interactions. A great, engaging bit of science fiction.

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20: ZODIAC (2007)

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Dir: David Fincher                                                                                               

So far I’ve yet to be disappointed by Fincher, he made one of my favourite films in SEVEN, I was captivated by GONE GIRL, and even ALIEN 3 has a special place in my heart after terrifying me as a kid. ZODIAC was yet another incredible viewing experience for me, there arent many films over 2 hours 40 minutes where I’ve been a little disappointed that it was finished. The atmosphere and mood he created, notching up the tension and intrigue just with characters talking and looking through files was just fantastic, culminating in one of the tensest scenes I’ve seen in a while. It actually left me going to bed creeped out and on edge, almost expecting to hear that heavy breathing coming from outside my door.

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KONG: SKULL ISLAND

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(2017) Dir: Jordan Vogt-Roberts

I’m in the minority that happened to really enjoy Gareth Edwards new take on GODZILLA, the film which has apparently kick started a shared universe that KONG is a member of, and after going the same way here, plonking a fresh, inexperienced but talented young director into a massive studio tent-pole film, I have to say they’re two for two. KONG is a fun, kind of silly but self-aware creature feature that has its fair share of problems, but for the most part is entertaining and gorgeous to look at.

For anyone worried about that comparison to GODZILLA, don’t fret, while Edwards teased you with the monster, cutting away and only showing flashes of the king of the lizards, here we get a big, up close look at Kong within the opening sequence, and he features prominently throughout the film in all his majesty. He swats away and destroys some helicopters, fights a host of cool looking monsters, and Vogt-Roberts lets you enjoy it all in nicely edited fight scenes that don’t go the way of other big-scale blockbusters and jump-cut away every half a second to force some idea of energy. You’re here for a giant ape wrecking stuff, and you get that by the bucket load.

As for the smaller, hairless apes, that’s where the film does tend to fall short. I thought the script was pretty weak, with some really clunky dialogue and characters that if you put a gun to my head, I couldn’t name. If you hated how poor the characterisation was handled in GODZILLA, im afraid it’s not a whole lot better here, save for a few. Samuel L. Jackson as a Lieutenant hungry for vengeance, and John C. Reilly as a WW2 pilot who crashed down 30 years ago, and has spent his time living and studying the island, are both fantastic, and mostly carry the film in the Kong-less scenes. Jackson is all stubborn fury, desperate for a win, any win, after being called home after the Vietnam war was left “unfinished”, whereas Reilly is softer, bringing a lot of the humour and quotable lines and the film actually does something really great with the character I didnt see coming.

Brie Larson, one of my favourite actresses right now, is great as always, bringing some real warmth to an “anti-war” photographer character that could’ve strayed into overly self-righteous, who looks even more engaging given she largely plays off Tom Hiddleston, who’s surprisingly bland and almost taking it all a bit too serious, as a for-hire badass mercenary (although he does get one brilliant action scene).

To be honest, there’s not much to say about KONG, as long as you go in just expecting a few hours of fun B-movie style entertainment, you should have a blast. It doesnt reinvent the original, but it does work as its own thing, ignoring the city climbing escapades (and abandoning Kong being infatuated with the female lead) entirely in favour of a pure jungle based adventure. The idea of it being APOCALYPSE NOW mashed together with a monster movie is a hell of a lot of fun, the rock music infused soundtrack and the gorgeous, saturated colours work brilliantly together, and really how can you not enjoy watching a 50ft ape have a fight with an octopus?

Ps: Stick around, there’s a cool after-credits scene. 

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XMENTIMELINES – Where Does LOGAN Fit In?

LOGAN, the highly anticipated final appearance of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine has been released to critical acclaim, my review can be found here, but where exactly does it take place among the rest of the X-Men universe?

The X-Men timeline is famously a big mess, and one that I spent far too long, and far too many words sorting out. In my explanation I went with the director, James Mangold’s word on where the film happens (After APOCALYPSE and the end of DOFP, in the year 2029), so after seeing the film, is that definitely the case?

I’m going to get into spoiler details for the film, so if you haven’t seen LOGAN, go and do so, then come back.

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We hear over the radio in Logan’s limo near the beginning that the year is 2029, which would place it at least 6 years past any film we’ve seen in the X-Men franchise so far. We also hear something about mutants being virtually all gone, as well as implying Charles’ powers going haywire and accidentally killing the X-Men, and scores of others in some “incident at Westchester”.

We also learn later on that mutant genes have been suppressed, through genetically controlling food like the corn syrup we see being grown at the home the group stay at. So this is a world where mutants are all but gone, and the ones that are around have been purposefully bred by Zander Rice, whose father was involved in Weapon X, to serve as privately controlled weapons. We know from the end credits sting of X-MEN: APOCALYPSE that the Essex Corporation obtained Wolverine’s DNA from his break out at Alkali Lake, when he was put through the Weapon X program, but we are never told if this is specifically where Rice got his hands on it. He may have gotten it here, or any other point in the 40 years previous, but it would at least line up nicely.

One thing that is a little off is during a conversation between Charles and Logan early on, discussing how old and worn down they both have become. They mention something that happened at the Statue of Liberty, a clear reference to the first X-MEN film, where the X-Men had to stop Magneto from using it to transform world leaders into mutants. As I have previously shown, this event is separated from the events of DAYS OF FUTURE PAST, APOCALYPSE, and THE WOLVERINE. This is a bit of a spanner in the works, but it leaves us with two choices.

  •  Firstly, that LOGAN takes place in the same timeline as X-MEN, but 23 years in the future. There is also a reference to Logan being a cage-fighter when they first met, which lines up, but overall the ending of X-MEN: THE LAST STAND, with Xavier being dead (or in the body of his twin brother), and the general tone of mutants being accepted, makes this option less likely.logantimelinex1-3

 

  • Or, that it still takes place after DAYS OF FUTURE PAST, but there was a similar incident involving the Statue of Liberty we haven’t witnessed, due to there being nearly 50 years of history we didn’t see. Logan being a cage fighter is still very plausible, and we see a katana hanging on his wall, a reference to THE WOLVERINE, which lines up closer with DOFP’s timeline than with X-MEN’s.logantimelinexapoc

Either of those theories can be juggled around to fit, most likely the second, but perhaps there’s a third option. Maybe, in my madness, I solved this before it even came out. You see, my original prediction was that Apocalypse waking up in ’82 caused a new timeline branch to form that was separate to the future Logan wakes up in at the end of DAYS OF FUTURE PAST. We’ve seen that LOGAN lines up better with APOCALYPSE, and the idea of X-Men comic books being around would also tie in to that, with mutants being known about, and even revered much earlier than ever happened in the X1-3 timeline. So stories about the X-Men and their adventures would fit far better in this world, than in the one of X-MEN.logantimelinenewbranch

My main reason for favouring this over simply being after DOFP is down to a few things, firstly that 6 years is a short amount of time to go from mutants are accepted, to being all but wiped out, especially since the experiments by Rice will have to have started long before then as Laura is 11 years old, and isn’t even the eldest mutant to come from the facility.

The film shows us that Rice is involved in helping to suppress mutant genes, meaning none are born naturally and he is in effect the sole source of any mutants, so to believe that this was going on at least a decade before the golden future of DOFP seems off. How can everything be fine, and the X-school booming when no mutants are being born and their kind is facing extinction? (It would also retroactively mean that ending is forever rendered pointless, as they’re all dead within 5 years anyway).

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Here is what the updated timeline would look like. The events of APOCALYPSE cause the new timeline branch, which leads to LOGAN, while everything that happened in DAYS OF FUTURE PAST and X-MEN 1-3 remain unaffected.

Unfortunately, there’s never a simple explanation with X-Men films, most people will likely have their own ideas about where things take place, but I think although Mangold’s theory can line up, LOGAN might work better continuity wise, and even narratively for the larger X-Men franchise, separated in its own timeline. This leaves the golden future of DOFP intact, and 40+ years between APOCALYPSE and LOGAN for any future films to play around in.

Now please, Fox, can we go one film without setting fire to the continuity of your own films?

 

LOGAN

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(2017) Dir: James Mangold

It’s a weird world we live in. Fox, the studio responsible for some of the worst comic book movies of all time (FANT4STICK, X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE), has managed to deliver two of the freshest, boldest superhero films the genre has seen, barely a year apart. First we got the ridiculous, hilarious sensation DEADPOOL, and now LOGAN.

LOGAN is not just a great superhero film, ignoring generic spectacle and instead scaling things down to focus on its characters, it’s a great film full stop. Where THE WOLVERINE abandoned its more personal first half and descended into cartoonish punch-ups involving a 9ft tall CGI samurai, LOGAN commits fully to its savage, gritty tale of loss, pain, of being a killer, and becomes something daring and brilliant.

You wont find any city wide destruction, with thousands of civilian deaths in LOGAN. There’s no witches gyrating in front of a digitally created energy beam, and no care for building a franchise. It just wants to tell a story, a story we’ve been waiting for, of Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine finally unleashed. “This is not the family friendly X-MEN films”, I thought as a blood splattered Logan jams those three claws through some poor bastards skull, moments after removing his friend’s arm. Not 5 minutes in and I’m awestruck and giddy with the violence on display. Make no mistake, this is the Wolverine fans have longed for.

We meet Logan working as a limo driver in El Paso, visibly struggling with age, his healing factor worn from decades fighting against the poisonous adamantium coating his bones. His claws stick when he tries to snikt, his body is scarred and his hair greying. Swigs of bourbon are about the only thing keeping him running. Logan is trying to save money so him and his old mentor Charles, both hiding away just south of the border along with another mutant, a tracker named Caliban, can try to find some safety, and peace from this cruel world. Xavier’s mind isn’t what it was, the worlds most powerful telepath struggling with Alzheimer’s, he suffers seizures that render those around him frozen and struggling to breathe, there’s even hints at these powerful accidents having led to terrible consequences in the past.

It’s a truly harsh and violent world, but all the bloodshed and f-bombs would be nothing without compelling characters to sell it, and that’s what makes LOGAN a really special entry to the X-franchise. Jackman gives absolutely everything to the role he’s played for 17 years now, and he’s never been better. The nuance and depth he’s brought to a character that’s main selling point is stabbing people with knife hands, is genuinely astounding, there’s heart-wrenching scenes dropped throughout the film that are more moving than a superhero film has any right being.

Patrick Stewart, in his last turn as Charles Xavier is equally great, all sass and swearing as his mind fades, but it’s Dafne Keen as Laura in her feature debut that stole the show for me. Mostly mute, traumatized by her awful, painful upbringing in captivity, but it’s anything but a quiet performance. She’s brilliant and strong, but still just a kid, abused all her short life. I really loved how they portrayed her, I think some films would’ve had her needing to be rescued by Wolverine, but here she is every bit as deadly, several times even having to save Logan herself. She’s just brilliant, watching a dozen or more fully armed soldiers back away in fear from an 11-year-old girl was an especially fantastic moment. Although her life has made her savage, almost feral at times, she grows throughout the film, softening through her friendship with Logan and Charles and she brings a sense of hope, of light to the harsh surroundings.

This is how you do gritty and grim. Minimal darkness, no rain, LOGAN looks absolutely gorgeous* while being devastatingly brutal. It’s not dark because the visuals are forcing it to look that way like some superhero blockbusters have done, its dark in its themes, in how it deals with its characters, in the story it tells. You can do all that without beating people over the head with its imagery.

*Theres talk of the director wanting to release a special black and white version when its released on Blu-Ray which I would love to see.

All the talk before it’s production was focused on its rating, but LOGAN works best not because it’s R rated, but because it’s true to the characters and tells the best story it can. The rating is just a result of being a brilliant Wolverine film that does its titular character justice. It’s great to see Fox taking these chances, I hope it encourages more comic book films that aim for a proper character driven film, without worrying about if it’s going to be rated R or PG. We don’t necessarily need more visceral, violent superhero films, but if the character works best in that style then great.  I hope the success of DEADPOOL and LOGAN have shown that smaller, harsher films will not only work, but the fans will embrace them all the more, so long as the characters are done the right way.

LOGAN is something special. A superhero film that doesn’t behave anything like a superhero film should, sharing more in common with classic westerns than it does with X-MEN APOCALYPSE. A brutal, violent, emotionally powerful tale that puts its characters through the wringer to deliver a brilliant and satisfying end to the character of Logan. Hugh can rest easy now, this is the definitive take on the character.

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Quick Thoughts: MOONLIGHT

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2016 (UK: 2017) Dir: Barry Jenkins

I first saw MOONLIGHT a month ago, on the back of a lot of incredible praise. I was obviously very excited to see it, especially since people were putting it above LA LA LAND, which I had already seen and adored. And to be honest, I didn’t get it. I enjoyed it well enough, on a visual level it’s just lovely, the use of colour and light is exquisite, but I missed that feeling of being blown away that others had described.

So the other night, before the now famous envelope incident, I gave it another go, and I have to say it finally clicked. It might be because MOONLIGHT is so delicate, so subtle and light of touch that my daft mind just didn’t catch all of its beauty first time round. Its very well directed, but not flashy or bombastic, it opens with a great, circling long take, but it was so well done I barely noticed. It’s really quite a unique film, one of those that are hard to categorise, but the experience is almost like watching a collection of memories through someone else’s eyes.

On second viewing, this film was just wonderful. Powerful and brutal, yet so gentle and graceful with its characters, each one of the all black cast giving an absolute standout performance, especially Mahershala Ali as Juan, a drug dealer who comes to act as sort of a surrogate father to Chiron, who will then model himself after Juan in later life.

The film is as beautiful as its story, bathed in rich purples and blues, it’s use of light in the night time shots especially, are some of the most gorgeous you’ll see all year. I loved the use of a shallow depth of field as the camera follows Chiron around, adding to the feeling of trying to get inside his head, his thoughts and feelings. Its a fantastic, beautiful film and fully deserving of Best Picture. If you haven’t seen it, definitely make time to do so, or if you had seen it and weren’t blown away, try a second viewing. Its a quiet, special little film.

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X-Plaining The X-MEN Timelines

     After decades of overlapping stories, comic book continuity becomes increasingly messy and confusing. The Avengers fight Kang The Conqueror through the timestream, 4 different Supermen appear at once, alternate universe planets where Spider-Man is a Japanese kid with a robotic suit, entire dimensions are collapsed and reborn, Beast brings the old X-Men from the 60’s to the present day and almost everyone has died at least once. Trying to parse this all out and make sense of it is largely impossible. There’s too many inconsistencies, paradoxes and absurd comicbook-y explanations to ever make 100% sense, so readers learn to take what works with the particular story they are reading, and fudge the rest.

Enter, 20th Century Fox, who have managed the incredible feat of making nearly as big a mess, in just 9 X-Men films. Each new one seemingly created solely to confuse the last, ignoring basic continuity even when directed by the same person. To give them credit, they did attempt to clear up their clusterfuck and streamline the movies with the 2014 film X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST, but that only wound up creating more problems than it answered. How did Charles survive being disintegrated? When exactly did Magneto and Charles meet? Did Raven grow up with Charles, or was she just another villain tagging along with Magneto? What the everloving fuck was X-MEN ORIGINS, and why haven’t those responsible been brought to justice? As satisfying as it was watching Hallie Berry’s Storm bite the dust, the film didn’t do a great job of clearing things up.

So, in what can be described as an error in judgement, I decided one night that I would sort it out. I would be Fox’s “Fix-It Felix Jr”, roll my sleeves up, stick my hands in and once and for all make sense of this spaghetti bowl of movie continuity. What follows is my Grand Theory of X-Planation, as near as possible a complete timeline of the events of the X-Men films, when they take place, and how they link together. Grab a cup of coffee, this is going to take a while.

* contains spoilers for all the X-Men films, obviously *
 

OK, so right off the bat we need to lay some things down. Firstly, yes, X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE is a thing that happened, and as much as we would all like to forget about that and ignore it, I can’t. It was made, it’s going in. Sorry. Next, I have had to take some slight guesses with a few things that are never outright stated, mainly with character ages. For this, if no exact age could be determined I went with an approximation based on how old the character is implied as being (teen, college age, adult etc), and the actors age in the film. Thirdly, some of this is just theory and I have had to come up with my own head cannon for it, otherwise it flat-out makes no sense like Moira MacTaggart being in both X-MEN: FIRST CLASS, and X-MEN: THE LAST STAND, at around the same age, despite those films being over 40 years apart. Any theories only help make sense of continuity errors if no explanation is provided, I have tried my best to fit everything in as it is shown to the viewer and not ignore cannon if it doesn’t fit. As a rule, if a character is born before a split (branch) in a timeline, they must exist in both. If a character is born after, they can be born in a different year or under different circumstances in the separate branch. Lastly, events we directly witness in the films often seem to cause new timeline branches to form. New branches will be marked with brackets.

We start in ancient Egypt, in the MAIN TIMELINE, with the first mutant in the world, Apocalypse. His four horsemen are killed protecting him while he does a fountain of youth spell, and as a pyramid collapses he is buried, and will stay there for thousands of years. Fast forward and in the early 1800’s, an unseen event causes a branch to form the [ORIGINS TIMELINE].xtimelineboxorigins

In this new timeline, in 1832, James Howlett is born the stepbrother of Victor Creed. During a traumatic event in 1845, James’ mutation kicks in and he produces bone claws from his hands. He kills a man later revealed to be his father, Johnathan Logan. James adopts his surname as his own, going by James Logan, or just Logan. The pair run away, fight in wars and such, and the events of X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE take place between here and 1979.

Here’s your first bit of good news, this film, this boil on the good face of superhero films, isn’t connected to any other in the franchise. While it does exist, it poses far too many inconsistencies for it to be linked in a timeline with anything else. Logan and Victor are not related in any other film, Wade Wilson is alive in 2016, Victor is incredibly different both in appearance and intelligence between this and X-MEN. Although Charles makes an appearance, as does Scott Summers, and they are about the right ages to fit, it just makes no sense whatsoever that this is part of the main timeline. This is the last we see of this timeline, we can presume events carry on along the same lines as the first X-MEN trilogy, with Charles, Magneto, the Phoenix and such. In a way, its pretty fascinating that they made this after an entire trilogy of films, and couldn’t even match it up with them.

Back in the MAIN TIMELINE, similar things happen with Logan without sharing a father with Victor. He sprouts bone claws, we hear he has fought in wars “too many fuckin’ wars”, and the earliest we see of him is in 1945 in Japan, saving Officer Yashida from the nuclear bomb dropped on Nagasaki. As for our other characters, Erik, Charles and Raven are all born between 1930 and 1934. The Mystique we see in FIRST CLASS is in fact the same person as appears in X-MEN 1-3, her life simply travels two different paths. Raven’s mutation causes her body to age very slowly, so when she is made human in THE LAST STAND, she still appears to be only in her mid 30’s when in reality she is around 70 years old. Erik’s powers manifest at Auschwitz in 1944, pushed by Dr Schmidt who murders his mother. Shortly after, in New York, a 10 year old Raven breaks into the house of Charles Xavier in search of food. She meets Charles and he explains she doesn’t have to be afraid, and that he is a mutant just like her. She is taken in by Charles and the pair become close friends. xtimelinebox1944This event of Raven meeting Charles in 1944 causes the timeline to split again, the most impactful for the films that follow. A new branch, [X1-3 TIMELINE] is formed where Raven doesn’t meet Charles, perhaps she picked a different house, or Charles didn’t hear her, leading to the different events, including the films X-MEN, X2 and X-MEN: THE LAST STAND.

This is the least confusing timeline, from here on no major changes happen and the films are largely consistent between one another. Logan enters the Weapon X program and loses all memory before 1985, Jean becomes the Phoenix, Scott and Charles are killed, Logan has to stop her. The only addition I will add, is that Charles does indeed transfer his consciousness into his comatose twin brother, missed by a lot of people because they stuck it in an after credits scene. Also appearing is a doctor we briefly saw earlier in the third film, Moira MacTaggert. I propose that this is the daughter of Moira that appears in First Class. In this timeline, Moira never helps Charles in 1962, just continues her career at the CIA and has a daughter, who pursues medicine and helps Charles out with his studies, and takes care of his brother. I agree that’s all a bit convenient, especially both their first names being Moira, but it’s a story fix that can explain her appearance. We don’t need to revisit this timeline again, everything is nicely contained and surprisingly consistent, we can speculate that the future is reasonably bright for mutants, with Beast joining the UN as ambassador.

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Separating the X-Men films at the moment of Raven meeting Charles, essentially solves most of the biggest continuity errors of the series. From that point events will naturally vary slightly, but Raven and Charles’ stories would vary hugely, leading to several things occurring in this timeline [MT] that don’t happen in others. Big things have small beginnings, and a chance meeting while looking through a fridge will have enormous consequences as those ripples in time get further out. Everything starts off with X-MEN: FIRST CLASS, which ends up being a huge event that causes further trouble down the road, and is the first moment that the two big timelines have very different histories. In 1962, while intervening in the Cuban missile crisis, Charles is paralysed accidentally by Erik (in [X1-3] Charles isn’t paralysed until after at least 1985), and Raven leaves him to join Erik’s brotherhood. This leads them both down a dark path, one we see in X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST, but interestingly one film is released in between them, and as appears to be the rule, a Wolverine movie confuses things.

2013’s THE WOLVERINE served two purposes, firstly to give us a decent Wolverine movie, and then to get him past the Jean Grey moping and into the new series of films. Unfortunately, as I have just shown, those two aren’t part of the same timeline. Its presented to the viewer that this film takes place in the [X1-3] TL, after the events of THE LAST STAND, with Logan mourning the loss of Jean, but several big things contradict this. Firstly, he’s having flashbacks to WW2, saving a Japanese Officer at Nagasaki, something we know from X-MEN in the [X1-3] TL, he is unable remember, but an even larger problem being after the credits, when who should appear? Charles Xavier, rolling in like he wasn’t disintegrated into a billion pieces a few years ago. Sigh. It has been suggested (and I think even implied by the film itself) that this is perhaps that comatose body of Charles’ twin brother, but we know from DAYS OF FUTURE PAST (a film that 100% happens in the MT) that Logan is recruited here to fight the upcoming war against the Sentinels. So really, what we have is a film where its makers didn’t even fully know where it was taking place, but from all the evidence, it stands to reason it happens here in the [MT] between FIRST CLASS, and the dystopian year 2023 we see in DAYS OF FUTURE PAST. This also, unintentionally, helps us fill in some gaps. We know that Jean must have also become the Phoenix in this timeline, and again only Logan was able to kill her. Presumably Charles was able to save himself this time, but Scott was still killed (bummer).

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Around the time of this films production, I think Fox realised just how much of a god awful mess they’d created, and tried to clean house somewhat. They created a promotional website for DOFP, including a brief timeline of events that happened between FIRST CLASS and 2023, where their upcoming film would start. It actually had some cool bits such as confirming that a similar event happened in San Francisco to THE LAST STAND, mutants being banned from competitive sport, Raven joining a resistance group, Beast being murdered in 2015 and Guantanamo Bay being re-purposed for detaining mutants. Mainly though, it was set up to get two big plot points rolling for DOFP, that Erik was arrested for assassinating president JFK, and that after being murdered in 1973, Bolivar Trasks Sentinel program went into full swing, hunting down, imprisoning and killing mutants. This would all lead to the dystopian future we see in DOFP.

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST causes a lot of the confusion people have over these films. Because it mashed together the new cast of FIRST CLASS, along with the old actors from X-MEN, and it wasnt entirely clear that these weren’t the same characters from those films, obviously people left with more question than ever. Hopefully if you’ve stuck with me this far it makes a little more sense now, this is an older Charles and Erik from FIRST CLASS. They share no connection with the X-MEN 1-3 films, despite being played by the brilliant Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen. Something else that weirded viewers out was how Kitty Pryde could now not only phase herself through things, but send people’s minds back in time? Secondary mutations are actually a fairly common idea in comics, so it wasn’t a big thing for some, perhaps if we had followed her journey in the X-MEN films she would’ve gained it there too. It’s essentially because they didn’t want to introduce yet another new character (Rachel Summers) with that power, so just gave it to Kitty. Fun twist, in the comics shes the one who actually gets “sent back”, not Logan.

xtimelineboxdofpIn the film itself, it’s fairly straightforward. Raven killing Trask causes this dark future, Logan gathers the younger Charles and Erik to stop her doing so. Eventually they succeed, and we see that a new timeline branch is created [FIXED FUTURE TIMELINE].

We fast forward along this new branch and Logan wakes up, the year is again 2023, but this time everything is golden and wonderful. Jean and Scott are alive, as is Beast, mutants are thriving and the Sentinel War was avoided.

At the very end of DOFP we see Raven impersonate Stryker and rescue Logan from a river, presumably preventing him from going into the Weapon X program. Except he does, one film later. Now, this is straight up bad storytelling. Bryan Singer just ignores an enormous character moment, and tosses it in the bin. But because I am being so nice, I will explain this too. Earlier in the film, Hank explains that time is immutable, that you can cause ripples in the river of time, but it will always correct itself. Perhaps all Raven managed to do was buy Logan ten years more peace, before time caught up and events transpired to put him back in Strykers hands.

This leads us to the latest main X-film (before LOGAN), X-MEN: APOCALYPSE, and on the surface its good news! No time travel, no sending brains back into younger bodies, just a straightforward story about resurrecting a centuries old mutant with ill-defined powers that wants to destroy the world. Since 1973, Charles’ school has been a success, recruiting mutant kids and helping them learn in a safe environment. One consequence of this timeline I haven’t touched on yet is that mutants get exposed to the rest of the world a lot earlier than in the [X1-3] timeline, which leads to some interesting things. It’s a driving force behind them being even more aggressively feared, which caused the Sentinel Program to be on the table in DOFP, and in this film we see another effect, mutants becoming worshipped. Cults sprang up around them and began trying to find what they believed to be the first, and most powerful mutant in history, Apocalypse. On the face of it, this film is easy to place, it comes 10 years after DOFP‘s altered 1973, and is simply in between that and the fixed future Logan wakes up in. Nice and simple. Until LOGAN comes smashing into the picture. What is it with Wolverine films setting fire to everything?*

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*Ok, I originally had a theory about where LOGAN took place, branching off after APOCALYPSE and in a new, contained future 2024 that explained everything, something which Hugh Jackman seemed to all but confirm, until director James Mangold then took to twitter and stomped all over my nice clean timeline. He clarified that LOGAN takes place in 2029, 6 years later than originally stated, and was in fact happening directly after the fixed future 2023 shown in DOFP, in the FFT.

Its fine, I knew trying to accurately detail where it was before the film had even come out was tempting fate with a franchise this absurdly messed up. My original theory is below, but for the purposes of the rest of the timeline, I have adjusted it according to the directors cannon. 

According to the synopsis, LOGAN takes place in 2024, one year later than that golden future we see at the end of DOFP. In this future, mutant kind is on the brink of extinction, Logan’s healing factor has gone to shit, Charles has Alzheimers and it appears all the X-Men are dead. How can this possibly be just 12 months on from that paradise we saw? My theory is, it isn’t. What we are seeing in LOGAN is actually the future of the timeline APOCALYPSE takes place in, and that the awakening of him and the events around the film causes yet another branch in our timeline tree, the [DYSTOPIAN TIMELINE].

After all, Apocalypse dissolving entire cities, murdering thousands and disarming the world of all nuclear weapons would certainly rekindle that hatred for mutants, something that seemingly didn’t happen in the fixed future. It again plays in to the idea that we keep seeing events in these films causing timeline branches.

In the post credit stinger of APOCALYPSE, Essex Corp are shown to be handling cleanup of the Weapon X facility that Logan escapes from, from which they acquired his blood, and we know that Laura Kinney (X-23) appears in LOGAN, presumably the one successful clone they managed to produce. We can estimate her age at about 13, putting her birth around 2011, 28 years after the events of APOCALYPSE. In the comics we know they struggled endlessly to produce a successful clone, so this gap feels possible, perhaps 4-5 years of research and development, then 22 years of producing unsuccessful clones before Laura was born. We wont know until LOGAN is released if this is accurate**, but it could certainly be possible.

**Doesnt look that way, but I will update after the film releases.

Finally, presented more offset from the rest of the X-franchise is arguably the best film in the run, DEADPOOL. Deadpool is a weird character for the franchise, in that he breaks the fourth wall, acknowledges he is in a film series, and even mentions there are multiple timelines, so pinning him definitively to one is a bit of a guess.deadpoolunicorn.png

He could just be a floating film, not being fixed to one line, but since we haven’t ignored any of the other films, I will lock it down. As far as we can guess, it looks brighter than the future portrayed in DOFP, and as Colossus appears to be much older than he was there, and is clearly Russian unlike in THE LAST STAND, it stands to reason that DEADPOOL happens in the brighter, fixed future timeline created in DOFP. Potential sequels involving time travelling Cable may screw around with this (and everything else here), but for now that’s where I think it takes place.

So there we have it. All of the X-MEN films put into a nice, neat timeline, free(ish) of absurd continuity errors and inconsistencies, hopefully you managed to make it to the end. The full size of the timeline image is too large to post here in its full resolution, so I put together a simplified version of where each film happens in relation to one another..

xmentimelinessimplecolourv2..with a link to the full timeline with accurate dates, events and added information >> here <<.

With rumours of Fox looking to soft reboot the franchise yet again, the TV show LEGION airing now, a second as yet untitled TV series, and another film beginning shooting some time in 2017 titled NEW MUTANTS, this problem isn’t likely to get better any time soon. But no matter, whenever a new X-Men film is released, I will be there front and centre, forever trying to untangle the mess.

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THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE

2017. Dir: Chris McKay

When you’re laughing before a single frame of the incredible stop motion style animation has even been shown, you know you’re in for a fun time. And that’s exactly what the wonderful LEGO BATMAN MOVIE delivers by the truck load. Fun. There’s a lot to be celebrated with this film, not least that it’s the first Batman film in 20 years that kids can go and see, without parents having to worry about them asking “mummy, why did Batman decapitate that man with his car?”. More than any DC film for a while, you can feel the love and appreciation of the character poured into every inch of the screen.

One of my biggest criticisms of the current DC cinematic universe is how they seem to feel embarrassed of their source material, unwilling to let the grim scowl drop for even a moment to lighten up proceedings, and even when they try to do something slightly off-centre with SUICIDE SQUAD, it feels forced, clunky, coming off like a sloppy imitation of something more original, like Mega Bloks.

Of course, LEGO BATMAN, spinning off from the wonderful 2014 surprise smash LEGO MOVIE, wasn’t going to be dour or ashamed of itself. I don’t think its possible for this animation team to make a grim movie, but boy does it enjoy poking fun at the live action films that do. Perfectly skewering any and all Batman property, from BvS to Nolan’s trilogy, bat nipples, all the way back to the first TV show, nothing is safe from a good teasing and it’s here that the film is at its best. Jokes come at you so fast, and so thick in the first 45 minutes that at times it feels almost overwhelming, your brain trying in vain to keep up as theyre exploding at you, it’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just so jam-packed with humour and fun that you’re only likely to fully appreciate everything after a few viewings.

While writing this I tried to think of which of the numerous Bat-villains cameos I enjoyed the most (every Bane moment made me burst laughing), and I just got one of the many jokes I missed, involving Killer Croc and began giggling to myself. I cannot stress enough the sheer density of jokes this thing has in its first half. The opening sequence reels through the rogues with lightning pace, giving nearly all a memorable moment as Batman fights through them while playing a brilliantly funny, pre-prepared rock mix. It’s an incredible, dizzying sequence and one destined to be repeated over and over as I try to find every last visual gag in the frame. Perhaps the villains would’ve benefited from a little more fleshing out here and there, they pack a lot into a snappy 90 minute run-time but sometimes you are left wanting more time with them in this bonkers world.

When the film eventually does settle down, it’s a story about how Batman has isolated himself from people, scared of connecting with anyone after losing his parents (we thankfully don’t need 3 separate Wayne murder scenes here). Over the course of the film, along with the help of the accidentally adopted Dick Grayson (Michael Cera), butler Alfred (Ralph Feinnes) and Gotham’s new commissioner Barbara Gordon (Rosario Dawson), the story follows the path of Batman learning to let people into his life, embrace friendships and family and not be the depressed, lonely figure he had become (wonder if there’s a lesson for DC in there somewhere?). I have long felt the strongest and most interesting aspect of Batman’s mythology is this extended family he gathers, and how they support and enrich each other, those stories always seem to be the most powerful and its wonderful to see them taking that route here.

Zach Galifianakis plays his arch nemesis the Joker, and him and Batman share a fun play on a romantic tale of them needing each other but Bats wont admit it, it works well with enough jokes to both entertain kids with the odd one that will sail just slightly over their heads and hit with the adults in the audience. It’s a balance that studios like Disney have been great at maintaining for years, and the team here led by director Chris McKay in his first feature-length animation after working on the TV series ROBOT CHICKEN, also walk that line perfectly. Lord and Miller stay on from THE LEGO MOVIE this time as producers, making sure the film is every bit as witty and sharp, and everything clicks into place as perfectly as a pair of freshly moulded 2 x 4 bricks.

I cannot leave without mentioning the incredible character designs, from Joker’s exaggerated smile and long purple coat tails, a fully brick-built Clayface, Dick’s jam jar glasses that magnify his eyes, and possibly my favourite design with Killer Croc, where they marry the regular crocodile LEGO head-piece to a big-fig which is absolute genius. Every character has been given a wonderfully fresh twist on their traditional comic book looks and they work perfectly with the joyful, playful tone of the movie.

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While it doesn’t quite hit the heights of that original film, LEGO BATMAN is every bit as enjoyable, providing a much needed injection of fun, humour and a deep love for its characters that DC films have been missing for the best part of a decade. If only all DC films were rebuilt as vibrant, energetic LEGO films, I have no doubt they would all be much better for it.

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Ten Days of Batman #1: Batman of Zur-En-Arrh

batman10#1: Batman of Zur-En-Arrh. In issue #113 of Batman, the caped crusader found himself teleported to a distant world, where he met the alien Tlano, who had observed what Batman was doing in Gotham and decided to become the Batman of his own planet, Zur-En-Arrh. Tlano and Batman teamed up to battle some giant robots, oh and regular Batman discovered that on this new planet he had Superman level powers..because comics.

The Batman of Zur-En-Arrh had a bright costume, with red, yellow and purple rather than the grey/black of the Batman we know. Its probably my favourite version of Batman, because of how bizarre and zany it is, and this LEGO figure was only given out in very limited numbers at San Diego Comic-Con in 2014, making it amongst the rarest LEGO minifigures in existence, and can fetch anything from £300-500.